Nope. Not good enough.
Today was the last day on my old calling plan
Somehow, Verizon shackled me to the station I used to work for with that account, making it impossible to cancel without the company's letterhead.
I send in FIVE multipage forms detailing the change of the account from them to me.
So, I called on the last day of the plan and had a simple strategy: ask nicely, then utterly brutalize the phone drone in every way I've been brutalized over the past three years by customers without getting personal or hitting any red flags that merit termination of the call.
First person resisted. They resisted hard, repeating from a script.
So, I fought back:
"What on that script tells you to forward this along to someone who can do something about it? I want this cancelled, and I have no intention of paying any more bills on it past this date whether it's cancelled or it sits in a drawer gathering dust while I shred letter after letter you mail to me. I will not accept anything less than YOUR ACCOUNT HAS BEEN CANCELLED, MR. SIMON. THANK YOU."
They relented, passed it to a peer... I brute-forced them the same way.
"You're reading from a script, well, I've been a phone tech, too. So I'm reading from a script. What on that script tells you to forward this along to someone who can do something about it? I want this cancelled, and I have no intention of paying any more bills on it past this date whether it's cancelled or it sits in a drawer gathering dust while I shred letter after letter you mail to me. I will not accept anything less than YOUR ACCOUNT HAS BEEN CANCELLED, MR. SIMON. THANK YOU."
I was then sent to a business customer service individual who was no-nonsense.
I told them my phone number, my name, and the fact that I no longer work for or have dealings with the company they put this telephone under. I am the only one who uses the number, only one who ever has used the number, and only one who ever will use that number. I do not want to keep the number, I do not want to keep the account. I will not accept anything less than YOUR ACCOUNT HAS BEEN CANCELLED, MR. SIMON. THANK YOU.
And they said they cancelled the account as of today. But I don't fucking trust them one bit.
Battery is out of the old phone, everything's wrapped up. When I get a last bill, I will wait a month to pay it to see if there's a follow-up bill. If it's for more money because they never did cancel the services, I won't pay anything and just let the account rot like I said.