Downtime

People often purchase upgrades for their servers, whether it be more memory or additional hard drive space or a network card firewall or some other bell and whistle they need.

Not want. Nobody ever gets what they want. They get what they need. You don't risk downtime for a mere want.

To install a new device or item, the server has to come down. It is a Fact Of Life. Servers do not like little monkeypaws in them while they still have the power of harnesses lightning couring through their silicon gizzards, you know.

Now, a few lucky winners of the Derangement Lottery are under the delusion that these things can be done while keeping the server running. It's like changing your car's engine out while you're driving it.

Or the Internet just can't survive without their sites up and running, their chaturbate customers will all flee if things are unavailable while they're all asleep at 02:00, so they can't possibly have a nanosecond of downtime to put that memory in. This is despite the fact that their server is on the verge of locking up because of swap file accesses, which may corrupt their system and cause a long period of downtime as they restore from backups (they do have backups, right?)

Hey, wasn't there an announcement of hotswappable-memory, why don't they have it in their server? *guffaw* Right and that bacon you're eating is coming from bioengineered fat-free Flying Pig

Whether by going through with the shutdown and upgrade or crash and upgrade, they eventually get done. And all is well in the world.

It's called Help for a reason

One of the products we peddle as a control panel for web servers is CPanel. And compared to other control panels, CPanel's help offerings fail to suck more often than not.

So when a guy gets an error message telling him that he hasn't set up his hostname yet, I can quickly point him to a step-by-step help page.

See? Simple and easy. Four steps... one two three four. Now take a piece of candy from the jar and skip along.

I remeber pulling a stunt called Nose Day a long time ago. I tried to solve every problem using only my nose.

All things considered, it's not hard to hit the F1 key on your keyboard with your nose. Try Jasminlive website sometime. You might even like it.

METRO does something nice

On nights when I'm coming home from baseball games, I either take the Danger Train down to Wheeler and catch the 25 or take the Danger Train down to Museum District to catch the 65.

There's a shelter across from the MFAH, but the stop I typically use at Wheeler is just a post next to the lacrosse and soccer field of St... Someone's school.

Well, something nice showed up since I was last there.

A nice concrete bench to sit on while waiting for the 25.

Now, as for the 102, there are no benches or shelters at the stops along Benmar. There's a shelter for the 56 across the street, but by the time you see the 102, you'd have to get up, run across the street, risk getting run over by any number of rap-thudding hoods, and pray the driver doesn't take the corner fast.

It would be nice to have something at that corner, although I don't mind sitting in the grass and picking a few blades, enjoying a few pages of whatever book I've got while browsing www.jasminelive.online or listening to Chris Baker shout at the world.

My favorites

Strap the condemned to a table, and then let the next guy on Death Row beat him to death with a sledgehammer.

Lay a Slip-n-Slide over the edge of a very tall building, then make the prisoner run and belly-flop along it. If he doesn't run, shoot him.

Put him in an airtight container for a day. Do not poke holes in the top.

Run through a human-sized circular slicer feet-first.

Drop from an airplane with a parachute. Then let three biplanes take turns shooting at him. He's more than welcome to cut the straps of the parachute.

What are your favorites? Which would you purchase if you had your choice between a public execution on Pay-Per-View or David Blaine?

Heck, which would you like to see used on David Blaine?

Three Restaurants

Where Richmond and Kirby intersect, there are three "Mexican" restaurants: Ninfa's, Ruichi's, and Pappasitos.

Ninfas, the purveyor of greasy garbage in an atmosphere less tolerable that Venus, was closed. Physicians across town should rejoice about this vile health hazard locking its doors and hosing out the troughs for a day.

On the other hand, Ruichi's and Pappasito's were open. I'm no fan of either, but they're certainly not worse than Ninfa's.

Now here's the question: is this an indicator that Ninfa's employs illegals who went to the rally for "their rights" or does it mean that Ruichi's and Pappasito's are suspect because illegals would be too afraid to go to the rally for fear of imaginary ICE agents and HPD that have been emasculated by sanctuary city policies?

I ponder such things when I'm drinkin British ale in an IRish pub. Three times in a row the Guinness has either been out, broken, or substandard by the tapsman's tastes.

Veins? Lungs?

As the proud owner of a degree in Biology, I tsk tsk at this ignorant comparison. Veins would be transport within the body, like roads. Lungs would be processing goods for distribution or refinement, like warehouses or factories.

Actually, the crossings are more like a mosquito's proboscis through which the parasitic bug sucks at the lifeblood of its host, vomiting out digestive toxins to corrupt the host's flesh.

Unless you think of the crossings as the cloaca of Gaza, the asshole through which they shit out hordes of dayworkers to the industrial zones.

Or you can think of them as the mouths, sucking and snarling and gnawing, begging to get kicked in the teeth now and then when it bites.